At this very moment, I have come to the deduction that everyone from 28th Street to 42nd Street, east of 5th Avenue, is high. There's just no other possible explanation to the auspicious response I witnessed at AMC Kips Bay this evening. Today was the premiere of "Pineapple Express," the new Apatow/Rogen brainchild that towed the likes of James Franco along for the ride. Shown to sold-out audiences across the country, it was safe to assume that it would be the typical mindless humor that has made Rogen a star and Apatow a powerhouse in Hollywood today. I get it: the movie's about smoking pot and appeals to any and all person that falls under that category. So right from the start, that was strike one. I definitely wasn't high enough to digest the mundane dialogue and stoney personifications of characters who were sculpted to have redeemable and identifiable characteristics, but who in the end fell short.
Mr. Apatow continued his streak of veritable airballs in trusting his characters to stimulate the audience enough with their own engrossing interpretation of their characters. The dialogue is so contrived that it gives new meaning to "Jumping the Shark." It feels so forced in most scenes (where barns aren't blowing up and Seth Rogen's ear isn't being obliterated), that it's as if Apatow left the cameras rolling on his actors and went to use the bathroom while they devised quippy lines and snarky comebacks. It may have worked for DeNiro in "Taxi Driver" for his famous "You talkin' to me?" but this cast, sans Franco, doesn't have enough films under their respective belts yet to be left with this responsibility.
I believe it's safe to assume that the movie is enjoying the same reception across the country and will undoubtedly make money. My observation was that in the area where I live, the demographic leans strongly towards those who will praise this as my predecessors praised Wilder. The privileged, JAPy, mid-20's constituents of Manhattan's East Side Murray Hill neighborhood ate this up without thinking twice...and it's probably better that they didn't or they may have found the film as second-rate as I did.


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